Three Freaks and a Baby
by AlbertGurl
Summary: After consulting the local witch Moody, Bird is transformed into a baby and his three friends get some helping hands from even more friends and family. He has only a week to feel better from what has been upsetting him lately, or else he'll be a baby forever! Will he feel better in less than the given time?
1. Chapter 1

With as much luck as Bird was having these days, he was beginning to feel quite unfortunate. Something seemed to bother him as well, seeing as he was also quite unhappy. He sat down in his tattered armchair and slouched down.

"Ugh," he thought, "what am I going to do? I've run out of luck and nothing in my department is going too well. Let's face it; I stink. How unfortunate for one of the eldest Freaks in the Academy to run out of such a thing. Needless to say, I've run short on my happiness as well..."

But no sooner did he think this, an idea struck him.

"Unless!" he thought, "Unless maybe I haven't checked in on Moody in a while! Maybe that's why I've been feeling so down and unlucky! Maybe she'll have a resource for me to feel better."

After thinking this, he stood up and dusted his coat off. Knowing that the others never did mind his weekly walks to the graveyard or trips to Madam Moody's hut, he left a small note on the side table and walked out.

Opening the bathroom door to let out a big burst of steam, Albert stepped out onto the bathmat outside. He wandered downstairs and searched the side table in the living room for his glasses. He found them and saw the small note sitting beside them. He read what this note had to say and went back upstairs.

"So," Albert thought, "he's going to consult Moody, huh? Well, I suppose he could use a resource for finding his happiness again. Poor brute."

As he walked down the gravelly path to Moody's hut, Bird felt quite calm from taking in huge breaths of fog. No visible plants or trees grew in the land Moody lived in, as it was almost always coated in a thick layer of fog. The only plant that ever grew there were the fogleaf vines that sprouted happily in the fog and bloomed small white flowers that Bird liked to collect at times, clinging to large rocks on the ground and creating large beds of soft, spiny and delicate vines. These were always bound to the ground and barely visible from above the fog.

When he reached the door of the hut, the door opened on its own.

"Come in, monster." Moody's voice called out.

Bird walked down the first few steps and saw the door closed on its own. He walked down the rest of the stairs and saw the indigo-bearing witch in front of her crystal ball.

"I foresaw you coming, friend." she said, turning around, "You have problems, I see."

Bird nodded and sat down on the small chair.

"Yes, madam." he replied, "Y'see, things haven't been going too well for me. Y'know, short of luck and just plain unhappy."

"I understand." Moody said, nodding, "I might have just the solution to resolve this problem you bear. I'll be right back."

She left the room into her laboratory, where the smoke of still-brewing potions spewed out and the smell of burning fogleaf vines emanated. Bird turned to see the fermenting potion ingredients in their jars and bottles, small creatures in their cases scratching and banging at their glass cases for their freedom and Darcy, Doc's cousin and Moody's apprentice cleaning up the dusty bottles and jars, prepping them for the next time they were going to be used.

"AHA! Perfect!" Moody's voiced called out eventually.

She returned to the room with a large bottle of a rosy-pink potion in her feeble hands.

"Drink this down, monster," she started, "and see how your issue will be resolved. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe and I advise you to be with your comrades when you get home. The effects will start in the next morning and will wear off within a week. But, if you fail to feel better from your issue at the end of the week, you will remain in the status this potion has permanently."

"Well then, madam" Bird replied, taking the potion in hand, "if it works THAT well, I'll drink it now!"

"If you say so." Moody said, returning to her lab.

After saying this, he gulped down the entire bottle of potion in almost an instant. Handing Darcy the bottle, he also handed her the gold that would pay for the potion. He began to feel strange on the inside and sat down.

"Ya feelin' alright?" Darcy asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Bird replied, standing back up.

"Oh and Bird, I almost forgot! Tell Doc that his cousin Darcy will be wanting to visit the Freak House tomorrow!"

Everyone knew well that Darcy was very kind to the Freaks and she never did mind the noise that went on there, so Bird nodded in agreement.

"Be seein' ya t'morrow." Bird said, leaving the hut.


	2. Finding Out

As soon as Bird got home, he sat down on the sofa and watched a little fragment of a broadcast. Nothing special, but he was feeling a little better... in fact, he was beginning to feel a bit sleepy. Just before he could nod off, Chubchub's cheery voice called his name, reawakening the brute.

"How was your trip?" she asked with an alert expression.

"'Twas okay." Bird replied, "I feel a bit better from that issue."

"That's good. Hey, can you help me with something? Nothin' big, just a little thing?"

"Well..."

"You don't have to help me out if you don't want to."

"Not now Chubsie. Listen, if Doc asks, tell him his cousin's comin' over here."

"Okay!" she replied with a happy nod.

Everyone knew how much Chubchub enjoyed having Darcy around, so she was more than happy to hear that. After she crawled away, Bird sat up and heaved a sigh. No sooner did he do this, he saw Albert's feet. He looked up to see the young scientist standing there with a worried expression.

"Did anything go wrong?" Albert asked with concern.

"No," Bird replied, "in fact, I'm feeling much better now."

"Oh good, I thought that you weren't up to walking down to Moody's. Guess that thick fog really does clear your mind of all the worries you have."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Did she recommend anythin' special?"

"Not really, she merely made me do some excerscises and have a walk and, that's it."

"Ah. Well then that's a simple thing to do... yet, with her standards, it's bound to work. As Montgomery used to tell me..."

"If I have to keep lyin' to 'em like this," Bird thought as Albert spoke, " they'll be bound to suspect something. Well, it'll be no use lyin' to 'em at this point, 'cause they'll find out tomorrow what's really goin' on."

"... and her potions are bound to work." Albert finished.

Bird was completely confused about what Albert had mentioned and tilted his head in confusion.

"Ah, nevermind," Albert said, "I'm just ramblin' on 'bout stuff that you're not gonna understand. Anyways, the first break week's comin', so I'm gonna try and turn in early. See ya in the mornin'."

Albert then headed up the stairs. The sleepiness that Bird felt just earlier returned to him and he let out a big yawn.

"I think I should go to sleep too," Bird thought, "I mean, it is the first break week."

Once he went to his room, Bird immediately took his dress coat and trousers off and climbed into bed. He let out another yawn and fell asleep in almost and instant.

"Well," he thought, "g'night monster."

In this dream, Bird floated through the somehow thick and humid air that flooded the area he was in. It looked fairly familiar to something he had seen in his childhood. Like as though it was one of those tubes that he and his group used to slide in when they were younger. How well he remembered that. The air was quite thick like the air that pervaded places like a marsh, only it was more humid than the marshes were and it had the smell of a newborn baby's skin. When he landed onto his feet, he felt like he was getting smaller. His sutures were decreasing in size, his brutish hands turned soft and delicate and he was turning slightly chubby(but not like Doc's chubbiness). He tried to stand up, but fell back down on his bottom. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a "Guhh."

This all felt so real...

… And it was. Bird awoke feeling exactly like how he did in the dream. He looked at his hands to see they were just like the ones he had in the dream. His sutures were smaller, his arms and legs were smaller than usual and he was slightly chubby.

"Uh oh." he thought, "Well, no use turning back now, Birdy. You got what you're going to have to live with... for a while."

He tried to stand up, but fell down face first into the thick blankets. He lifted himself back up, thinking of a way to draw his friends' attention. He managed to toddle to the edge of the bed and he heaved a sigh.

"Don't go cryin' to Moody when ya wanna change back," he thought, "'Cause she's not r'sponsible for your getting' hurt!"

He jumped off the bed's edge and landed face first into the floor. Never did he experience this much pain.

"Jeez!" he thought as he let out loud bawls, "I didn't think it'd hurt that much as a baby!"

Who heard these cries were Doc and Chubchub. They entered the room and Chubchub picked Bird up. In an instant, Bird calmed down.

"What the heck happened to Bird?" Doc asked in concern.

"Well," Chubchub replied, "he told me that he went to Moody's to consult his problem. As it turns out, there was a kink in it, like always."

"Ah. Well then, I gotta get Al to bring out the stuff he used to take care of me before."

"You do that."

Doc then ran off. Chubchub sat down in Bird's armchair and held onto Bird.

"So there was a kink in Moody's plan, huh?" Chubchub asked.

Bird lowered his head in embarrassment and nodded. Chubchub shook her head and replied, "There's a kink in it every time. No wonder you were hesitant to tell me."

Everybody knew how Bird would lie. Sometimes they had the most convincing story to be told, but most of the time, his lies weren't successful. And this time, Bird had gotten himself into a tight spot.

"Well, that's okay," Chubchub said soothingly, "Al could use the recoup."

The expression Bird made asked "Why?"

Chubchub took in a deep breath and replied, "Al doesn't know this yet, but the lovely countess... is bearing a child of his."

Bird put his hands to his face and smiled, letting out an excited coo.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Chubchub asked, "Al's gonna be a father!"

"Gosh," Albert said, "to think that I was through with having to care for a baby! Oh well, this knowledge would be useful to me."

"Hey, I wasn't a complete baby!" Doc replied, "I turned two when you found and adopted me, so I wasn't too far from being able to speak."

"Y'know kiddo, you might learn something from this too."

"Maybe... maybe you'll learn something else as well!"

Albert thought about this response as he built the crib that he had once used to take care of Doc. He still had the essential items of baby care, bottles, a mobile, toys and child-appropriate bedding. He was nearly done with getting these things, all he needed now were diapers and formula.

"That should do it." Albert said wiping the sweat off his forehead, "All we need now are some diapers, formula and... that might be it. I'm headed off to town."

"Y'mean you're gonna leave us here?" Doc asked.

"Pretty much, but I won't be long!"

"Very well then."

Albert gave Doc a reassuring nod and left the house. Doc let out a sigh and heard Chubchub's footsteps fall and a baby Bird crying incessantly.

"What could be the matter now?" Doc asked.

"He's just hungry." Chubchub replied, setting Bird in the crib, "I got it."

She walked to the kitchen and Doc approached the crib. He slid a finger against the bars and recognized the safety that it provided when he was a baby. The soft redwood bars were now keeping Bird safe from the dangers of falling, along with other things. He thought of this as protecting their leader right back. Bird could see Doc's expression and he pondered what he was thinking. Doc could see Bird's questioning look and said to him, "Don't be shy, I understand baby-speech."

This relieved Bird and he spoke, but the only thing escaping his lips were the baby babbles that every parent had heard. As Bird spoke, Doc nodded.

"Don't worry, I understand," Doc replied, "you lied to us for the sake of your buddies. That makes sense to me. And I won't tell Al the news... unless maybe his lover decides to tell him herself."

Bird pursed his lips and put his finger in front of them, as if he were keeping a secret.

After Albert left the marketplace, he sat down on a bench and heaved pants.

"Gosh!" he said to himself, "It's always at break week when the marketplace becomes so crowded!"

He lowered his head before his cellphone began to ring. He didn't expect anyone to call him this soon. He took it out of his pocket and answered it.

"Albert?" Agatha's voice asked.

"OH! Hey Ag!" Albert exclaimed in slight shock, "I-I didn't expect you to call so early!"

"Sorry if I startled you, hun, but Al! I have something important to tell you!"

"W-What is it Ag?"

"Well, I think Chubchub's told you, didn't she?"

"Told me what?"

"Ah, she didn't. Well, Al... I'm... I'm containing a child of yours!"

This half-startled Albert and he could barely speak when he heard this.

"You're... you're..." Albert managed to utter.

So far, Chubchub and Doc were doing well in taking care of Bird. Now Bird was fast asleep and Doc and Chubchub were passing the time by reading the books that were in the living room's shelves.

"Why didn't I ever think about reading this one before?" Doc asked.

"I dunno," Chubchub replied, "but that one has to be a personal favourite of mine too."

"Al wrote this one too. He should become a writer, his stories are killer!"

Albert quietly entered the house, in case Bird was asleep. He entered the room to see that everyone has calmed down. He set the grocery bags down and sat down. Watching Doc and Chubchub read made him want to read the books that were stacked up next to him. Chubchub looked up at Albert. She could see that he was smiling about something.

"So Ag told you herself?" Chubchub asked.

Albert nodded happily and pulled a book from the stack.

"Good," Doc replied, "Now, where were we?"

As soon as the three grown-up Freaks went back to reading, baby Bird began to cry again.

"Who'll go first?"


	3. At the Countess's Place(End)

Agatha sat alone in the nursery room. She looked at the dusty furniture and held her stomach. She really was pregnant and felt slightly uncertain about it, but she was ready to start her motherhood. She barely started, but she knew, because of the way she felt. She felt very sick, but that was a natural thing that occurred in every woman's pregnancy. She even restricted her favourite snackfoods from her diet in order to stay fit while she was developing. Even though a month barely passed, she was ready.

"Ugh," she mumbled, "I need to take it easy. Not one month has passed and I'm feeling quite queasy. What should I do? I'd like for Albert to come over, but he's..."

An idea struck her. Albert had told her about Bird's problem and since the Count's House already had a nursery, this idea would work well. She went to the main hall, picked up the receiver of the phone and dialed some numbers.

So far, the Freaks were taking Bird's transformation quite well. For each day that passed, the other three Freaks took turns in taking care of Bird. Albert took the first and fourth days, Chubchub did the second and fifth days and Doc did the third and sixth days. This was the last day of Bird's curse, but Bird was feeling a quite content and forgot about what had upset him in the first place. And he didn't have any tantrums in any of the days that passed, because he was behaving quite well. And since this was the last day of his transformation, he tried his hardest to behave himself. So far, it was working out well.

As of this very moment, they were all having an afternoon nap on the sofa. Everything was going quite well and no noise pervaded the air. But then the phone began to ring. Bird awoke, but wasn't unhappy about this at all. Albert drearily opened and eye and reached for the receiver.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey Albert," Agatha's voice replied, "What're you guys up to?"

"Up `til now, we were having a nice nap. Is there anything wrong?"

"No, no. I'm just feeling rather lonesome, and being the Countess doesn't help at all, even if I have butlers and maids. I was simply wondering if you guys can come on down to the Count House."

"A-Ag? Do you even know what I'm goin' through?"

"I do, and no worries, this house has a nursery, so don't worry about your friend."

"Oh good. For a minute there, I thought you'd gone out of your mind. Well, why not? I'm sure Bird would like to see you."

"Splendid! It shouldn't be too far from where you guys reside, so I'm sure you can get here by foot."

"No problem. See you soon, Ag."

Albert then put the receiver back in its cradle. He stood up, clenching Bird in his arms and announced, "Ag wants to see us. And she knows what we're going through."

"Oh cool!" Doc remarked.

"Ooh, the Count House!" Chubchub exclaimed, "Very few Freaks like us manage to get themselves into the Count House, so you have to be quite lucky to have a countess for a girlfriend."

"Yep." Albert replied with a nod.

He looked back at Bird and asked him, "You don't mind if I carry you, would you?"

Bird shook his head in response and gripped Albert's shirt. He knew where he was going, so he prepared himself for being carried over to the Count House.

"But, your Ladyship," Emily, one of Agatha's maids asked, "are you sure this is a good idea?"

Agatha was cleaning out the nursery room herself. She didn't seem to mind the amounts of dust that was getting into her red locks.

"Trust me, Emmy," Agatha replied, "I'm barely one month developed, so I sure as heck am very positive about the fact that this is a good plan. Plus later on, I wont be able to move around much, so why not expend my energy now?"

This struck Emily as a good point. She lowered her head thoughtfully and nodded.

"Exactly." Agatha replied, "Now you will excuse me, I will have a quick shower."

"Beautiful skies today." Doc said.

The Freaks walked down the brick streets of the Freak City. Each of the stone towers and houses casted shadows onto the streets and gave every alleyway an eerie feeling. They didn't mind the lightly warm sunlight that danced on the streets, making every Glass Spirit glisten. They eventually arrived at the Count House. Chubchub and Doc had never seen it up close, so they cowered slightly at its huge proportion. Albert pulled the bell's rope a couple times. The one who answered it was Mary, the official maid of the Count House and Hugh, the main butler.

"Lady Calamult has invited us here to visit." Albert stated, "Possibly stay, if she enjoys our company."

Hugh nodded and opened the door further to let the Freaks in.

"Her Ladyship will come down momentarily." Hugh said with a light bow, "I will recommend that you four wait here, Master Alcatrazzle."

"Fine by me." Albert replied, sitting down on the chaise lounge nearby.

Bird took a look around the Count House, seeing the all-too-familiar curtains that hung over every window, the stairwell that was gilded with silver and the sleek tile floors that laid flat in its place. He remembered this place too well, especially since he used to visit Countess Gretchin often. Those days were over and he had to live the rest of his life without seeing Gretchin too terribly often. They heard an upstairs door open and gentle footsteps. Agatha walked down and saw her friends waiting patiently for her.

"All hail the Freaks." Agatha thought, "especially since Albert is a part of them."

"Greeting, friends," Agatha said.

"Greetings, Agatha." Chubchub and Doc said at once.

"Hello, Ag." Albert said, taking his lover's hand.

"So, Bird." Agatha said, looking at Bird, "You got yourself in some kind of predicament, no? Well, that's OK, feel free to stay as long as you need to."

Bird nodded thankfully. Doc and Chubchub hopped off from the sofa they sat on and wandered off.

"That includes you and the others as well." Agatha said, looking back at Albert, "In fact, I was getting so lonesome I couldn't think of anything else to do. And seeing as you got me into something, I may have to be more careful of who I eat as well."

"I see." Albert said, taking Bird into his arms.

"And like this, he's actually quite the charmer."

Gently, Agatha tickled the baby Frankenstein and he let out a giggle. Albert handed him to her and Agatha guided them upstairs.

"'Tis a pity that pregnancy stand in a woman's way." Agatha said as she walked, "Well, maybe not for a demi-demon woman's, but still."

"Well, on the bright side, you wont have to eat as much sacrifices when you're through," Albert replied, "Plus, it'll be bound to make the child more pure."

"That's a lie, 'cause maybe they'll have to eat flesh too."

"Well, if that keeps up, you're gonna make me eat flesh, if you convince me to!"

Both Bird and Agatha knew this was a joke, so both laughed at this response.

"Geez," Doc said, looking at the laboratory in Agatha's library, "no wonder the Countess gets to have it all, when it comes to chemicals and stuff like that!"

"I know!" Chubchub responded typing into Agatha's beta computer, "I mean, sheesh."

"Well, the Count and Countesses have to be up-to-date when it comes to worldly affairs."

"That's true."

Nightfall arrived and the Freaks settled down. Doc and Chubchub were in the nursery with Bird and Albert was with Agatha. Because they wanted to keep Bird company before he went to sleep, Doc and Chubchub stayed there since the sun was setting. For the while that they were there, they spoke with Bird. Considering he was able to speak only in babbles, Doc and Chubchub understood him very well.

"How d'ya feel about bein' some kinda, I dunno, 'uncle'?" Doc asked Bird.

"(Thus far, I'm feeling quite glad for Al.)" Bird replied, "(Plus, it's been so long since I've seen younger blood. Not includin' ours.)"

"Well Bird," Chubchub replied, "I feel good about it too. To be honest with you, it's like fate decided to give Al a chance in carrying on. Not on his own, of course, but to pass his family down into generations."

"(I understand. And I think he'll like it that way.)"

As the moon began to rise, Bird, Chubchub and Doc began to get sleepy. Eventually, they had fallen asleep, leaving Albert and Agatha alone... to do their "thing".

Albert awoke feeling refreshed. Agatha was still asleep, gripping her pillow.

"And that there is a way to deal with stress." he thought as he got dressed, "Let's go see how Bird's doin'."

Once he got dressed, he went to the nursery to see Doc and Chubchub crashed on the floor and Bird in the sofa, back to his normal, brutish self, sutures back to their normal size, hands back to their big and rough selves and instead of being in his diapers, he was in his slightly tattered gown.

"And would you look at that?" Albert thought happily, "Looks like Bird's truly happy. And I think I know why."


End file.
